1000 Minutes: Hour 1

The idea is, Gallus and I are stranded, I'm gonna say it's an island of Dubai, where it's sunny and we have slaves that feed us grapes, but that's beside the point. We have an mp3 player that never needs charging and can never be updated again. These players hold exactly 1000 Minutes of music – bit rates and file size don’t matter. We’re not going to be rescued, we're in paradise why would we want to be? But we’re not together, so we can’t each load up different songs and share.

The question: What do each of us do with that 1000 Minutes?

Here's the first hour:

1. Piano Man - Billy Joel (5:38min - 994min 22sec remaining)
I'm assuming me have liquor on this island and there's nothing I enjoy singing more than piano man when I'm have a few too many...

2. We Used To Vacation - Cold War Kids (4:02min - 990min 20sec remaining)
There's no song that reminds me more that the few too many I had to drink in selection 1 was a bad idea. It's also got a ripping guitar solo part way through, and I loooove the heavy piano use.

3. Da Funk - Daft Punk (5:29min - 984min 51sec remaining)
How else were PT Fuzz (minus the and) going to get on the island? We need entrance music!

4. I Won't Dance - Frank Sinatra (3:22min - 981min 29sec remaining)
If this were not in my play list, according to the rules on the Sentinel office whiteboard circa 2005, in all likelihood I would be kicked off the island by staff cadet Cal Du Plessis. Plus it is a constant reminder of the awesomeness of Sentinel '05... And why Crook should never be left in charge of picking music.

5. Drop - Cornelius (5:06min - 975min 23sec remaining)
Cornelius to this day is still one of the top 5 live performances I've seen (front row of course). Meridith 2006 hell yeah!


6. Joey - Bob Dylan (11:05min - 964min 18sec remaining)
Alright from an outsiders perspective over 11 minutes on a pretty much lesser known Dylan song seems ridiculous, but bear with me. This song always reminds me of 2 things:

- Working with my dad circa 2006 summer holidays and playing the Bob Dylan Desire album as loud as possible on the dusty CD player, as whining the line "Jooooooooey" at full voice.

- That stupid book I should have read more of for a year 8 assignment I'm certain I failed, The Outsiders -Stay Gold!


7. Lord Anthony - Belle & Sebastian (4:16min - 960min 2sec remaining)
This would have to be in my top 5 favourite B&S tracks, and with B&S being my favourite band the choice is logical, right? If only Anthony had applied for MHS, I'm sure he would've fitted in there.


8. Miss Misery - Elliot Smith (3:12min - 956min 50sec remaining)
A great tune, from a great singer/songwriter who died well before his time, from a movie I love. Robin Williams is a genius, and it'd be remiss of me not to say Matt Daaaamooooon.


9. It's All Gonna Break - Broken Social Scene (9:55min - 947min 55sec remaining)
An epic BSS tune. With line like "When I was a kid, you fucked me in the ass" how can it go wrong? But seriously, turning this up at full volume on a dodgy and fuzzy car stereo is awesome. They also kicked arse at Laneway in 2008.


10. Our House - Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young (3:01min - 944min 54sec remaining)
Our House (Channel 9) was never the same once Shirley Strachan passed away and for that matter the theme song only loosely sounded like the CSN&Y version, but it's made the list regardless. It's an idyllic track that make you wish you had a house and owned 2 cats. Evil creatures.


11. Smokers Outside The Hospital Doors - The Editors (5:00min - 939min 54sec remaining)
The title tells most of the story, the irony is never lost when you walk in for work at MMC and see on average 5-10 people smoking outside the lobby of the hospital. Made worse 3-5 of them are usually patients, and 1-2 of those are usually from the respiratory ward in for COPD or emphysema. Sad.


So that's the first hour.... Game on G'las

You'll Think I'm C-a-razy!

Alright so it sounds crazy to start, but hear me out.

So I didn't get picked for the Uni games Handball team but that's almost where this crazy disheveled idea started. It started when I bought a new bike, a beautiful Scott S10 LTD. Sounds reasonable so far right? Yeah, so far.

So I've been riding more and more, cause I guess that's what you do when you get a new, beautiful, shiny bike. I've ridden into the city on my own (43 minutes, not bad for a first time), Gallus and I rode into the city and back from his house in Burwood one day (while he was terribly hungover too, and no vomit!) and I've done a few km's on my own as well.

So that's the beginning of the story.... more and more bike riding.

Now comes the Uni games Handball bit. Gallus invited me down to train with the squad at Caulfield Monash gym and 12 people get picked to go in mid semester break in second semester to play a whole heap of other uni's. Let's just say I didn't get picked and am D.E.V.A.S.T.A.T.E.D.

So now we have 2 pieces of the puzzle. Bicycle and mid semester break semester 2.

I'll just get to the point:













Worked it out yet?

Yep.
6 days, 661.66km.

Burwood-Broadford-Bendigo-Shepparton-Mansfield-Broadford-Burwood.

I've managed to convince Gallus to come with me. Now we're looking for 3 people to come along in a car (and ride a bit if they want to) and make it a road trip.

Interested?

That 'Guess the Song' Game That Everyone Does because i have to make Sylvie unable to guess 9 of them

Rules:
Step 1: Put your music player on shuffle.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 30 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing.
Step 3: Strike through the songs when someone guesses both artist and track correctly.
Step 4: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING!
Step 5: If you like the game post your own.

1. See it coming, at my head, i'm not running, i'm not scared.
2. The lights go on, the lights go on, when things don't feel right, I lie down like a tired dog, licking his wounds in the shade.
3. I fought in a war, and i left my friends behind me, to go looking for the enemy and it wasn't very long.
4. I - I got a low down dirty feeling, that I been cheated on and lied to.
5. It's easy to fall in love, when you fall in love, you know you're done.
6. I'm really close tonight, and I feel like i'm moving inside her, lying in the dark and i think that I'm begining to know her, let it go.
7. We wen't to the youth club and we looked out of place, i didn't know where to look, so I looked at your face
8. I am the last person you can call, don't even know how we've met somehow.
9. I see you sitting and stuffing your face, why don't you stuff me up.
10. What would you think if i sang out of tune, would you stand up and walk out on me?
11. Are you going to leave me, love, are you going to leave me?
12. Drag him out your window, dragging out the dead, singing I miss you, snakes and ladders flip the lid.
13. Darling, what you gonna do now, now that you noticed, it all went wrong.
14. Here comes the sun, dotin' do do here comes the sun, i say, it's all right.
15. I'm shaking awful, i'm shaking, asshole, and where's the remote? it's gonna fall off.
16. Gotta keep, one jump ahead of the breadline, one swing ahead of the sword, I steal only what I can't afford.
17. Now i could lie by your side, all serated for you, down below cancer grows, weeping waits inside you too.
18. We were running everywhere, with dirty feet and messy hair, racing through the commons, and i thought i'd let you win.
19. Any day now you'll call me up on the phone, say you love me more than you ever did before.
20. You always say you like my style, you say i'm tough and kinda wild, am I too much for you to take, I swear this time it's not a game.
21. She's your cocaine, She's got you shaving your legs, you can suck anything, but you know you wanna be me.
22. Looking out, across the night-time, the city winks a sleepless eye.
23. Yeah I'm losing my edge, I'm losing my edge, the kids are coming up from behind.
24. His family taught him right from wrong, with with local tales and children's songs, sunday school was his shelter, with his friends Joe and Walter.
25. Found myself just the other day, in the backyard of a friend's place, thinking about you.
26. I got no regret right now (I'm feeling this), the air is so cold and low (I'm feeling this), let me go in her room (I'm feeling this), I wanna take off her clothes (I'm feeling this).
27. Got bitten fingernails and a head full of the past, and everybody's gone at last, sweet sweet smile that's fading fast, 'cos everybody's gone at last.
28. No no no nooooooooo, don't funk with my heart.
29. Antony, bullied at school, get your own band, now you are cool, or are you scared? Bunking off, though you're a toff, it's all gone wrong again, you've got double math.
30. Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup, they slither wildly as they slip away across the universe.

Let's Get A Few Things Straight...

Let's let the first thing be the first thing...

Rule #1
Life is shit. So are 90% of the people in it.

There's no denying it, no avoiding it, no skirting around it, no hiding from it, no ignoring it, no crying about it, no Chinese whispers, no shits, no giggles, no nothing.

It's the First Law of the Universe, the longer it takes you to come to grips with it and understand the reality of it... Let's just say the more likely you are to be on the not so favourable side of the ledger.


Now that we've all had time to take it in and digest it, you might be asking "Sure, but what does that mean for me?"
Well it has a multitude... neigh plethora of applications in the 'real' world for a modern day SNAG (or DAG as the case is more likely to be these days) or a fashionista of the finer sex:

• 90% of the people you bitch about are likely to be shit, so the chances of you feeling bad about it are... slim.
• 90% of your family you can legitimately dislike and feud with... because they're shit.
• 90% of world leaders are shit and have no idea what people actually want or need.*
• 90% of illegal immigrants can be put in detention centres without qualm... because they're shit.
• 90% of Christians... maybe i won't go there...
• 90% of your friends are shit, so when they stab you in the back... don't say i didn't tell you it was coming.

*Application to politics can often be misleading and somewhat of an underestimation of the law of the universe

As you can see, Rule #1, otherwise known as the First Law of the Universe and going by various other pseudonyms is simple:

Life is shit. So are 90% of the people in it.

You don't have to like it. But live it. Embrace it. Become one with it.